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  “Listen, Claire,” I said in the best tone I could muster up. “I have to get going. I need to do some paperwork, check my roommate’s dog to make sure she hasn’t wet everything in sight, and see if Becky’s still my roommate. Maybe she has run off again to reconcile with that jerk of a boyfriend, Tim, like she has many times before—usually when the rent’s due. Whatever I can do to help, let me know and I’ll be there for you. I’m not trying to make light of what’s happening to you. I’m sorry, but until you can tell me something concrete, I’ll have to agree with Mom. Perhaps you’re just whacked out right now and you’re not being rational.”

  “I found receipts. I wasn’t snooping or anything. I was getting his suit and shirts together to go to the cleaners and when I went through the pockets I found a receipt from West Florist and one from Victoria’s Secret. I haven’t gotten any flowers or sexy underwear since I can’t remember when,” she stammered, tears spilling down her cheeks. She was so upset.

  “Ah, sweetie, don’t cry. Everything’s going to be fine. I just know it will. Go home, take some time to think this over and if you still feel this way in a couple of days, call me. We’ll go from there.”

  “Oh Jesse, you think I could be wrong? Carl is a good husband and father. He has never done anything before to make me think he was interested in anyone but me. He’s always telling me how much he loves the kids and me, and how happy we make him. You’re right. I’m going to do just that.”

  She looked at Mom and asked, “Is it okay if the kids and I stay here tonight?”

  “Of course, it is, dear.”

  “I really do have to get going. Claire, call me if you need me. Mom, thanks for the grand tour. I love your new home and can’t wait to visit again.”

  I gave both of them a hug and kiss and said my good-byes. I saw Dad on the way out. “Everything’s going to be fine. I’m headed home. Thanks for the trip.” I gave him my usual peck on the cheek and yelled to Lacy, “Bye, Lacy.” I didn’t wait for a reply.

  Backing out of the driveway, I had to chuckle to myself. Claire always had a way of blowing everything out of proportion or working her mind into a state of utter chaos. However, that little voice inside me wasn’t laughing.

  On the way home it occurred to me that I hadn’t asked Claire about her pregnancy. During her last two times, that was all she talked about. She drove me nuts.

  She was depressed and crying because she was fat and ugly or she was ecstatic because she had chosen a name for the baby.

  The ones I liked best were the midnight calls concerning her digestive tract and her ever-enlarging breasts.

  I find it tacky to call in the middle of the night and complain about the discomfort of a B-cup becoming a C-cup. Give me a break. I made a mental note to call her before she returned home.

  Ten minutes later, I parked in my tiny parking space in front of the duplex I shared with Becky. In actuality, Becky had shared the place with me for the last six years. I met her when I was doing clerical work for a moving and storage company. That was several jobs ago for both of us. As I said before, I haven’t found my niche in life. My current job is office girl for a company called Whitley Chimney, a small chimney sweep business operated by two brothers, Kyle and George. They give a whole new meaning to the phrase—tall, dark, and handsome. You know the kind—6’3", olive skin, shoulder length, curly black hair, weighing in at 180 pounds each. Fortunately, they’re both married, which keeps me from making the mistake of trying to mix business with pleasure.

  As I retrieved my belongings out of my ten-year-old Chevy, my neighbor, Janet came storming out of her apartment. She had that determined look in her eyes that I had seen on many occasions. Either our trash was scattered all over the yard, or Becky and I had our music too loud and it had kept her and her live-in lover up all night. What now?

  “What’s going on in that house? You didn’t come home last night and your roommate left for work Friday and hasn’t been back since. You have to do something about that dog. You know, I could turn you in to the landlord. We’re not supposed to have pets,” she spewed, spraying me with spit. Some people are so nasty.

  Wiping the dampness from my face in a gesture that did not go unnoticed, I replied, “Calm down, Janet. I just got back from an overnight trip with my parents. Let me get inside the house so I can see what’s going on.” I brushed past her in a manner I hoped she found offensive.

  I couldn’t get the key in the door fast enough. My mind was racing with thoughts of torn clothing, half-eaten shoes, or worse, pee all over my bed. Oh, no, my CD’s! I’ll kill that dog. Better yet... I’ll kill Becky!

  I opened the door and couldn’t believe my eyes. Everything appeared to be normal, except for the smell. I dropped my bag on the floor, threw my keys on the coffee table and called Athena’s name. “Come here, Athena. Where are you?” I glanced around on the floor and knew instantly the source of the smell. Athena had done her business in at least four places that I could see. Immediately, she burst out of the kitchen and jumped on me. I could almost read her mind, “Feed me. Let me out... please!” I knew she was glad to see me. Bless her heart, she’s so sweet. She’s two years old and can wreak havoc with the best of them, considering her puppy days are long gone. I tried to convince Becky to spend the money to have her fixed, assuring her it was best for the dog and us, but she complained she couldn’t afford it. If it were my dog, that’s the first thing I’d do. What about shots? Hey, what am I thinking? That’s not my concern. I can’t get all hung up on a dog.

  I gingerly walked to the kitchen, scooped out a bowl of dog food from the bag we kept under the counter, and dumped it into her eating bowl. She gobbled the food down like I do when I sit down in front of a pile of steamed crabs. I filled her water bowl, grabbed a roll of paper towels and went about cleaning up dog poop while also checking for more damage.

  Amazingly, the first piles I encountered were the only ones. The smell of urine blasting out at me would have to be dealt with, too. I figured if I stepped on wet carpet, I would just throw a towel on it... one of Becky’s. I cleaned up the poop, which was not an easy feat considering I’m the type of person who gags when I see someone spit on the sidewalk. Plus, I’m not an animal lover. When we were kids, we had a dog once. Jack was allergic to dander, so that was our first and last pet. We never considered owning a cat because Mom thought they were scary animals. They have talons that lash out at you if you make the mistake of getting too close.

  After spraying the house down with a can of room deodorizer, Athena was ready to go outside and do whatever it was she missed doing earlier. I let her out and by the time she was scratching at the door ready to come back in, I had begun to seriously worry about Becky.

  Was she all right? Where was she? I got out my address book and looked up the listings I had under her name for people who might know her whereabouts. I called her mom in Hampton, but she said the last time she had heard from Becky was two weeks ago. My mother would be banging down my door if she hadn’t heard from me in three days, let alone two weeks. Next on the list was her dad. Her parents had been divorced for several years, but tried to be civilized to each other for the sake of Becky. Becky was an adult, but she was still their only child. That meant they were always going to be polite to me because I was Becky’s roommate, but they didn’t have to like me. Her father once told her that he thought I needed to get laid more often! What a macho pig! I dialed his number. After five rings, I hung up.

  Athena walked over to me and tried to lick my face. I patted her on the head and rubbed behind her ears. For some reason, dogs seem to love that little show of affection. She started to get excited. I had to push her away; she must weigh eighty pounds. German Shepherds are big dogs, and when they jump all over you, their paws can dig nasty places in your skin. She lay down on the floor as I propped my feet up on the coffee table, trying to decide what to do about this situation. I knew Becky was with Tim. I refuse to let him take over my apartment again. I will not tolerate
him eating my food, controlling my stereo and my television, leaving his clothes everywhere, making long distance calls on my phone and not paying for them, and most importantly, I didn’t want him in my house. All they ever do is fight. I would put my foot down this time! The minute she got home, we’d have a serious talk, but for now, I wasn’t going to let this get me down. I wasn’t going to worry about them.

  I got up from the couch, grabbed my duffel bag and went to the kitchen. I needed to do something to take my mind off what was obviously going to turn into another ugly situation. I gathered my dirty clothes from the trip and began loading them into the compact washing machine. I had purchased the washer at a yard sale two weeks earlier for thirty dollars. This brought a smile to my face. I no longer had to make the weekly trips to the Wash and Spin, or when it rained, go over to Mom’s house and freeload off her. I hated feeling like such a user. We spent many Sunday dinners together with me doing my laundry. Too bad our kitchen was too small to accommodate the matching compact dryer. It would’ve saved me from having to trudge out back to hang the clothes on the line.

  I put a pot of coffee on to brew, and then went to the living room with the intention of calling Mom, when the phone rang.

  “Hello,” I answered.

  “Hey, you’re home,” Becky said, her voice sarcastic as she slurred her words. She sounded like someone who’d been drunk for two days. That only meant one thing—she was back with him. First, she’d be in denial... denying she was back with him. Then, I’d have a week or so of him dropping in for long visits. She’d move out again only to return a couple of months later, bags at her feet, cigarette hanging out of her mouth and elephant tears running down her face.

  I was hot. I could tell this wasn’t going to wait. I jumped in and said, “Why would you go off and leave your own dog locked up without food or water and no way of getting outside? Are you crazy? Or, is it that you’ve been too busy with Tim to think about your responsibilities to others?”

  “What others? What do you mean?”

  “I’m not going to deal with this again. You have one week left on the rent you paid this month. That should be enough time to get your things and your dog and move in with Tim. Besides, I’ve been thinking about moving to the mountains with Mom and Dad.” Lord, what made me tell that lie? One minute I’m trying to lay a guilt trip on her and the next I’m telling lies.

  “Can we still be friends?” she pleaded.

  “Sure, we just can’t live together anymore.”

  “You know you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.”

  She was starting to get sappy and I could tell this conversation was only going to go downhill. “Becky, I need to get off the phone and call Mom.” I also need to think about the bad person I am for telling yet another lie.

  We agreed she would come get her stuff, we’d remain friends, and most laughable of all, keep in touch. I knew this was the end of the line for me. There was no more going back.

  It was barely dark, but I was ready for bed. I promised myself I would get up early in the morning and call Claire before she left. I just didn’t want to deal with another crisis today. I left the clothes in the machine, turned off the coffee pot, and let Athena out one last time. Five minutes later, she was finished. She followed me to the bathroom and watched while I brushed my teeth. As I crawled into bed in my underwear and T-shirt, she laid down on the floor. I guess a dog wants company, too.

  Sunday morning started out to be a sunny day with just a sprinkling of white, fluffy clouds and the promise of more warm days to come. I love the spring. I threw out the old coffee, made a fresh pot and then called Claire. We talked our usual sister-talk and she couldn’t tell me enough about her plans for the new baby. She didn’t mention Carl, and I didn’t ask. When I hung up, I felt much better. Things were starting to look up. I hung the clothes on the line to dry, took a shower, and started in on the paperwork I’d promised Kyle and George I’d have done by Monday morning. I needed to sort work orders, receipts and checks; get on my computer and download all this to the computer at work; and have the bank deposit ready to deposit on Monday. Once all that was finished, I spent the rest of the day kicked back, eating junk food, watching TV, and walking around the apartment thinking about all the lies and crap that flowed so easily out of my mouth yesterday. Is that what I’m down to now? Thirty-one... no life... no man... no babies... no career... a liar... a dumpy duplex apartment... a piece-of-junk car... and breasts the size of plums. The worst part was, I couldn’t even get drunk. I take Zoloft, the wonder drug of the year 2000. I don’t want to go there right now. That’s another one of those tales I don’t want to relive just yet.

  I have to think positive. Isn’t that what the therapists tell their patients? I wandered into the bedroom and looked into the mirror. “Well, on the bright side,” I said to no one in particular, “I’m not bad looking. Okay, I might have one or two crow’s feet, but who doesn’t at thirty-one? I have good skin, my blue eyes sparkle, and on a good day, I only weigh 115 pounds, which is perfect for my 5’5’’ height. I have long, straight, bottled red hair. I don’t have a big nose or funky teeth. I have a great personality sometimes. What more could a man want?

  Deciding I’d had enough for one day, I took Athena outside one last time to do her thing, took my clothes off the line, and retired for the night.

  Like Scarlet would say, “Tomorrow’s another day!”

  I awoke Monday morning with a tight and heavy feeling in my chest. Anxiety attack... I know the feeling well. I opened my eyes and immediately realized the pressure source. Athena was lying on top of me.

  “Wait a minute, girl. Since when have you and I become bed partners?” I asked her. She looked at me with those loving eyes and started licking my face. “Look, we need to get something straight. You and I are roommates, but it’s only temporary. Pretty soon you’ll be moving to a new home, so don’t get too cozy here.” I don’t normally like animals. Why was I talking to a dog? What’s happening to me?

  I hadn’t heard from Becky since Saturday. It was Monday and I had to go to work, so I did what I had to do. I fed Athena and made sure she was set for the day before I left.

  Work was in utter chaos. Over the weekend Kyle had broken his arm, and George was irked about it because his brother was not going to be able to do his work. They fought most of the morning and by lunchtime they had pulled me into their battle. It was the same old song and dance.

  I don’t know if it was the relaxing time I had with Mom and Dad in the mountains, or if I was just fed up with my boring life, but I was ready to call it quits... so I did.

  On the way home, I stopped at a fast food joint and got my usual burger, fries, and a large Coke. As soon as I parked my car in the driveway, Janet came out to greet me. I wasn’t in the mood to listen to her whine.

  “Don’t you have a job, girl?” I asked as I brushed past her.

  “Oh, funny,” she hissed. “I see your roommate has packed up and moved out. She left the dog.”

  “What do you mean, she left the dog?”

  “She said she left a note. Did you two have a lover’s quarrel?”

  I ignored her and went inside. Sure enough, there was a note on the kitchen counter saying she’d come back for the dog when she got settled. At least, this time Becky left me a note.

  I let the dog out, sat down at the table and began to devour my food. Stress always makes me hungry, and I was dealing with quite a bit of it at the moment. I called Mom. She answered on the first ring.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “Hi, Mom, it’s me. How’s it going?”

  “Busy, the movers are here. I’m glad you called. I was going to call to see if you wanted the piano. We’re not going to take it and since we bought it for you, I thought you might like to have it. If not, Claire said she’d take it for the kids to use when they get older.”

  “Let Claire have it. I don’t have the room, and right now, I don’t know what’s going to happen.”
/>   “What do you mean? What’s going on? You don’t sound too good.”

  “I don’t need to burden you with my problems.”

  “Since when has that ever stopped you? Tell me what’s wrong.”

  “My roommate deserted me, left her dog, and then I quit my job.”

  “Perfect timing,” she said, excited. “Now you can come with us to the mountains. I know your dad would be thrilled, and so would I. We love you. Think about it, honey, and then give me a call. I have to run.”

  I laid the receiver back in the cradle and thought about what she said.

  I retreated to the bathroom to take a long, hot bath. I had to sit down and think about my life and what my next step was going to be. The hot water and bubbles made me feel relaxed, something I desperately needed. I was beginning to drift off when I heard Athena out back barking. Oh, I guess she’s ready to come back in. I got out of the tub, pulled the plug, toweled myself and then let the dog back inside. All the emotion I’d been holding in came pouring out. I sat down on the couch and had a good cry. Athena came over and licked my hand. Her show of affection caused me to cry more. I spent the rest of the day curled up on the couch watching television and talking to my new roommate. I guess it was at that very moment I decided I needed to change my life. Anything would be better than this. Besides, I didn’t have a life... all I had... was a dog. I picked up the phone and called Mom.

  “You must be reading my mind,” Mom said. “Your father and I were just talking about you.”

  “I know it’s getting late and you and Dad are probably ready for bed, but I have something to tell you. I’ve been thinking over your offer to move to the mountains, but I have one problem. I have this dog. I can’t leave her behind. She’s been dumped on enough and I just can’t bring myself to take her to the animal shelter. Besides, she starts to grow on you after a while.”

  “Okay,” Mom said.